Choose a Girl

Let dirty talk elevate your sexual experience, not hinder it. The sooner you disregard the pressure you put on yourself, the easier exploring the sexual experience will be. You may be comfortable with blurting out the dirtiest thing and using the filthiest language; if so, by all means, go ahead if it’s something your partner will be receptive to. If not, you might want to ratchet it down a bit, until he is more comfortable with that language coming out of your mouth.

• Any man wants to know that he has the power to satisfy you like no one else.
• One or two drinks can help loosen inhibitions.
• But if your partner isn’t into that kind of talk, it could shatter the mood.
• ’” And see how your partner’s response might turn up the heat.

How fast you’re talking.

As hot as letting someone in on your dirty secrets is, laughter and playfulness can be just as sexy. So relax, enjoy the moment, and let the words (or laughs) flow naturally. Talk about the sexual fantasies that turn you on. Tease your boo with naughty thoughts and even discuss playful punishments. Maybe you’ll discover a mutual kink that spices up your sex life. Consensual spanking and light bondage can add an intense edge to your sexual talk.

Read erotica aloud to your partner

• Whether you believe this or not, consent is very sexy.
• One of the secrets to great dirty talk isn’t just what you say, but how you say it.
• Get him thinking about the last time he was intimate, and he’ll also start thinking about when he’ll get to be intimate with you.
• “You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself to just be one thing,” Manta says.
• You can switch between intensities and work up to that more explicit phrasing, or you can keep things more general; whatever fits your idea of sexy and feels right coming out of your mouth counts.

As always, feel free to read other relationship tips and look around our store to find some thoughtful and sexy gifts for couples. Then, start by whispering softly in your partner’s ear. Let your partner get used to you saying certain phrases.

If you look your partner right in the eye when you’re talking and don’t shy away, he’s going to go crazy. How would it feel if both of you were having an amorous affair? The sexiest way to talk dirty to a guy is by fantasizing about passionate moments that are risqué.

For those of you in a long term relationship, know that this is an imperative skill to have to keep sexual tension and keep sex interesting. We often take our partner’s sexual desires (or even our own) for granted. By talking dirty, you unleash the sexual and sensual conversation. It starts with words you speak, and carries into your physical actions. Are you looking for some helpful examples on how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?

The start of a conversation is also a good time to exchange any no-fly trigger words. A shared bottle of wine can lubricate the conversation so you’re loose to share your more niche desires. Just do yourself a favor and cut yourself off before things get sloppy.

Describe your mood, your current environment, the feel of your new underwear or sex toy, a sexual fantasy, or your favorite sexual activity. This lets your partner into your world no matter how far away they are. If you decide to test out a new conversation topic, take it slow.

If you find yourself at a loss for words, there’s an easy remedy. Start narrating what you’re doing to your partner’s body and how they make you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to go full-on David Attenborough–style nature documentary (that said, if roleplay is your thing …). But it at least gives you some material to work with until you feel more comfortable coming up with your own original material. You can switch between intensities and work up to that more explicit phrasing, or you can keep things more general; whatever fits your idea of sexy and feels right coming out of your mouth counts. “Dirty talk is categorized as [any] communication during sex that enhances sexual pleasure,” adds Dr. Tara.

“Many people find dirty talk off-putting or embarrassing because they derive their definitions and expectations from porn,” she says. As Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist points out, there are a few reasons your partner may have hesitations or a negative view of talking dirty. If you’re in a brand new relationship or with a new partner and haven’t talked dirty to one another before, you might not feel sure about how to start engaging in it. Dr. Jansen says it’s best to wait until after sex—“maybe on a walk or hanging out on the couch, not during the sexual moment”—to approach your partner with feedback or check in.